Despite my best efforts, I’ve become a regular reader of the Guardian’s
(often maddening) comment is free section. Generally, I don’t agree
with the whinger / reactionary tendency on the board (if I read the
phrase "Blair is worse than Hitler" one more time…). However, one
particular comment, attached to a rather
strange article arguing that Cliff Richard should be our next Prime
Minister, today carried it off with such aplomb and was so magnificently
depressive, it seemed worthy of recording:
"Tony Blair just has the histrionic pose of an clapped out ham actor
and should have been booed off the political stage as an atrocious PR
created fake a long time ago.When the curtain comes down on this
militantly mediocre halfwit,the country might be able to regain some of
its dignity as an independent state and not as some effete Peter Pan
presiding over an infantile Noddyland full of happy clappy multi culti
types spouting out their tired cliches into the void of the washed out
pop cult oceania we are subsumed in day in day out. A Britain that
spawns pyschopathologies, yobbery, terror cells, media spin, idiotic
media pundits trying to blame cricket umpires for creating at atmosphere
of racial and religious paranoia, pooves emerging from closets, Elton
John, George Michael, victim culture, asinine compensation cases for
"injuries to feelings",David Icke, Girl Power and silly,loud,tittering
"nites out on the razz", the ephemeral cult of Diana, shitty business
jargon, mission statements, Tony Parsons, binge drinking, credit card
debt, moaning Poles, celebrity Big Brother, a slobbish lad culture,
football kitsch, Irish theme bars, Brazilian dance, the Notting Hill
Carnival as kind of New Labourite equivalent of the Soviet May Day
Parade, Jeffrey Archer, the Late Show, the shrill and shrivalled
Germaine Greer, cooking as the new sex, Jamie Oliver, the soap operatic
dissolution of the distiction between reality and non-reality, white van
men, moronic buzzwords like "sexed up" in place of manipulate, Dr Raj
Perpseud, Virgin Cola, condoms and pension plans, Michael Winner,
"Islamophobia", John Pilger and "Blairs Bombs", the sinister theocratic
MCB, EasyJet, the illusion of easy sex, drug rape, "chilling out",
Palumbo, the fucking useless Millennium Dome and the whittering Polly
Toynbee… Blair’s Britain"
Quick, give that man a job with the Daily Mail (which seems to a more
fitting home for these particular gripes than the Guardian comment
website). I wonder if the person posting is as perminantly miserable
about everything as they sound?